REAL*TALK SERIES/Ep. 4: Real* Talk With Tristan - Clarity in Uncertainty

This is our fourth episode of Mind Health Therapy’s REAL* TALK SERIES for May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I have learned so much from each guest, and have been reflecting on ways I can grow personally with the heartening example they have shown in their healing journeys. I am learning in this process, as it is my first passion project as founder of Mind Health Therapy, to hold myself with compassion and be unashamed of who I truly am. In this process, in witnessing our featured guests’ ability to embrace all of who they are, I am embracing my own authenticity and working to build a life based on my unique goals, values, and truths. I am learning that each of us has a story worth sharing with confidence and humility. But enough about me. 

It is of great joy that I am able to introduce to you our guest for this episode, Tristan. I have had the honor of running many therapy groups with Tristan in our work together as clinical therapists at a clinic that serves people who struggle with moderate to severe mental health issues. It’s a must that I highlight how Tristan offered something very special for each group we held together. Tristan has the ability to create a sense of safety and close connection within the group, with his humor and faith for each individual that comes through our group therapy doors. Tristan always has a down to earth approach that motivates and inspires others for positive change. The clients trust him and the hope he has for each person has a beautiful way of manifesting itself for healing and recovery within the hearts and minds of those he works with. 

Here’s a glimpse into how Tristan finds clarity in the unknown:

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WHO AM I?

I am Tristan, and I am a steady force of giving the best I have each day. I am blessed with a partner who helps me to be the best I can be. I am raising a family and nurturing two amazing girls with all the love my partner and I can give. I am my mother’s son, a brother, and soon to be uncle. I am accepting who I am and working to build a strong foundation for myself and those around me. I work with an available openness to help guide others in mental health recovery.

QUESTION 1:  WHAT DOES STOPPING THE MENTAL HEALTH STIGMA MEAN TO YOU?

Stopping stigma starts with the recognition and respect of uncomfortable truths within yourself and/or others. Stigma is created by a perversion and misunderstanding of the unknown. I fight mental health stigma with transparency, validation and empowerment of those struggling with mental health disorders.

QUESTION 2: HOW HAVE YOU STRUGGLED WITH MENTAL HEALTH?

I understand others may assume that I have a background of mental health illness because I am a therapist. I am ok with that assumption, and I acknowledge how fortunate I am to not have had mental health issues that were debilitating for me. I have no other reason to be a therapist except for my love and passion for mental health recovery. I am humbled to witness the detrimental effects of imbalanced mental health on a person, family, and community. I am honored to provide healing and growth for people in what I do as a therapist.

QUESTION 3: HOW DID YOU OVERCOME AN EMOTIONALLY OVERWHELMING TIME IN YOUR LIFE?

In my most recent emotionally overwhelming situation I experienced a multitude of emotions. I was hurt, crying, sad, angry and confused. I knew there were people I could call on, but in my hopelessness I doubted the people I knew who cared for me and didn’t reach out. Nothing made me feel better I felt everything around me was triggering a painful memory. Wanting to ease my suffering I went for a walk. After a few minutes of reflection during my walk, I finally came to find clarity. I recognized I was emotionally charged from something that happened previously that day. I identified my thinking was distorted in my emotional distress. Acknowledging this grounded me and helped me to endure my pain. I was then able to turn my mind to my values and wisdom to guide me.

QUESTION 4: SHARE WITH US A QUOTE THAT GROUNDS + INSPIRES YOU, AND WHY.

“THERE ARE ONLY TWO DAYS IN A YEAR WHEN NOTHING CAN BE DONE. ONE IS CALLED YESTERDAY AND THE OTHER IS CALLED TOMORROW, SO TODAY IS THE RIGHT DAY TO LOVE, BELIEVE, DO AND MOSTLY LIVE.” DALAI LAMA

I am certain progress requires honest acceptance of your past and the uncertainty of your future, as well as the immediate action on your values and truths in the present. 

QUESTION 5: HOW DOES ONE GAIN INNER PEACE?

Every journey looks different on the road of mental health discovery and inner peace. In my journey towards gaining inner peace, I first came to a point where I was fed-up with how I was negatively responding to my pain. Because of this I experienced unnecessary suffering and losses in my life. I decided the way I was reacting and thinking through life stressors was damaging to my personal growth. I worked to replace old automatic unhelpful coping skills with positive and helpful ways of thinking and coping that facilitated personal development and growth. Finding inner peace for me involves keeping stressful moments in perspective, having patience in the unknown, and staying grounded in my truths, values, and goals.

Thank you Tristan for reminding us the importance of staying mindful in the present moment with wisdom and patience. Thank you for highlighting how our individual transparency, truths, values, and goals can guide and ground us in all of life’s uncertainty. 

From The Desk Of, 
Katrina Niere, LMFT
Founder of Mind Health Therapy